How easy it is for us to be broken. I don’t know how many people I know that are broken inside, and even though they are broken on the inside they put on a façade on the outside. Some so they don’t appear weak, others because they don’t want to face their brokenness, and still others who are just scared to let their true feelings out for fear of rejection or whatever the reason.
You know, it cuts me up inside when I see people like this. And, if you look closely at everyone you meet or see, you can generally tell when ones broken inside just by looking into their eyes. There’s generally an emptiness about them. A sense of vain.
And most people who go through times like this believe that they are the only ones experiencing what they are.
When I was younger I was always afraid that my life would be stuffed up. Especially from year 8 on.
I used to ask God why he had put me in the life circumstances he had with tears running down my face. For so long I felt empty and ashamed. I was broken on the inside, but no-one ever knew of it.
I didn’t really have many friends. I tried to distance myself from them so they couldn’t see the true me. In the long time I knew my closest friend, I only went to his house a few times.
The only thing that kept me going was the knowledge that God had a purpose in my life.
But for so long I was broken, and ashamed, and empty, but no-one knew of it.
I believed that I was the only one going through these feelings and that no-one else would understand. I thought that my life was screwed up and that if anyone ever saw me for who I was that they would judge me, look down on me and reject me. I felt worthless. Life didn’t make sense to me.
It was in this time where I had a sense of un-belonging in the world that I began to analyze peoples actions and reactions. Trying to understand why people do what they do. Watching how people react to what other people say and do.
It was then that I realized that I wasn’t alone.
So many people get hurt from other peoples actions and words (whether they do something they shouldn’t have, or don’t do something they should have), and most of the time the person doesn’t realize the hurt they have caused the other person. I also saw so many misunderstandings, where people would do or say something with one motive (usually neutral or good), but it is perceived as something else by the other person (usually bad). It was then that I understood the importance of getting others to understand things the way I understand them.
But just going back to what I was saying, it was then that I saw so many people that were hurting and empty and broken inside, and no-one else knew or cared about it. No-one really took the time of day to look out of their own lives to see the brokenness that needed mending in others lives.
In my observations I realized how easy it is for someone to become broken inside.
You know what, it wasn’t until I had given that brokenness in my life completely over to God that he was able to deal with it completely. A number of times I tried to give it over, but I still clung on to something. But when I completely gave it over to God He dealt with it.
As soon as I gave it completely to God, He brought some friends into my life that accepted me for who I am. I was able to be open and honest with them without them judging me, and I am forever grateful to God for giving me them as friends.
And you know what. It’s not all perfect now and smooth sailing. I still have times of feeling broken and empty within, but that’s when I remember Nehemiah 10:8, and find my strength in the joy of the Lord.
God also gave me Psalms 70 when I was down, and I was able to be joyful and rejoice in my salvation. I know that my joy comes from within now, from God.
Make sure that you don’t get so caught up in your own life that you don’t see others breaking within!
Sometimes it’s only the random smile or kind act or encouraging word that gives people a reason to struggle on to the next day. It gives them hope.
But the greatest hope of all is in our Savior Jesus Christ.
